Looking Back: Taking Custody of Truman Bekalu

After our court hearing ended on the morning of July 1st, we, along with the 2 other families who had court with us and our lawyer/in-country representative Ato Teklu, went to a coffee house within walking distance of the court building so that the family whose birth family was present could sit down and talk. While enjoying some pastries and talking happily about how our children were now officially OUR children, we also talked with Ato Teklu about when we would be able to take custody of Truman Bekalu. We had previously mentioned that we would like to take custody ASAP, i.e. immediately after court. Ato Teklu, however, wanted us to wait because he did not want us to rush being "in prison". It was so interesting to have conversations with Ato Teklu about adoption and children, because we always seemed to be on opposite pages! Anyway, long story short, we ended up convincing Ato Teklu to let us take custody sooner rather than later :-) He called the Transition House from the coffee shop to let the nannies know that Bekalu would be going home with his parents that day - yay!

After coffee, we had a quick lunch (at Ato Teklu's insistence) and then went over to the Transition House. When we got there, we started with a quick tour of the children's rooms, which we hadn't had a chance to see on our first day. It was very emotional to see the room and crib where Truman had been living for 2-1/2 months of his life. While it was definitely cramped quarters, the room was also so full of love from the nannies and it was clear how well taken care of our son had been. I thought a lot about the huge transition he would soon be going through and felt sad for how much upheaval he would be experiencing in his first 6 months of life. I also felt excitement for Truman and all of the other children in the room who would soon be joined with their forever families.

Truman's Crib:


While looking around the compound, another family we were with came in holding their child. I quickly asked where they got their child from (as Truman was obviously not in his crib that we were looking at) and they told us that our son was waiting for us in the "meeting room" where we had been united with him the previous day. Shea and I quickly hurried over and found Truman with his beautiful nanny, peacefully sitting and waiting for us to arrive. We could immediately see that Hana was in pain, as she was about to be separated from this beautiful child who she had grown to love. Hiwot, WACAP's social worker/nurse, soon came in and told us that she could translate with Hana if we had any questions about Truman Bekalu. So many questions came rushing in that it was hard to know which to ask. We started with some basic ones, such as when does he eat (every 2 hours), when does he sleep (naps throughout the day), does he get up at night (at least 4 times!), how do you soothe Bekalu (give him what he wants), how do you know when he's upset (he will let you know!), etc. When we asked her what she would want us to know about Truman, she repeatedly said "I just love him." When it came time for us to take Bekalu from her arms, it was very heartbreaking. There was no way for us to thank her enough for caring for our son for the past few months, and for clearly loving him as though he were hers. I still often think about Hana, and I wish I had expressed more to her about our thanks and gratitude. I wish I could tell her the profound impact she had on our son. There's always just more to say.

Truman with Nanny Hana:



Almost immediately after taking Truman Bekalu into our arms, Ato Teklu came in and said it was time to go, as he needed to get back to his office to do some paperwork for upcoming Embassy appointments. It was really hard to watch the other family we were with be separated from their daughter (they were not able to stay between court and Embassy and were leaving for the States the next evening). Shea and I both felt so lucky that we were able to leave with our sons in our arms - I still cannot imagine how hard it would be to fly back to America without your child - ugh!

United for good at the transition house:


Getting dressed for the van ride "home" to the hotel:



On our way out, Hiwot mentioned that Truman had a very bad cold for which he was on antibiotics and that he had diarrhea, for which he would need to be given electrolytes (she gave us a powder to mix into water for him to drink). It soon became clear we would have an interesting night ahead of us :-)

I put Truman in our sling and he immediately fell asleep - it was pure joy! We loaded into the van and were on our way! I don't know if Shea or I has ever felt happier in our lives - to know that we were forever united with our son and that we would never have to be separated again - wow! The other families kept asking if we were nervous, and honestly, we were not nervous at all. We both just felt a type of pure happiness that was incredible.

Video of us entering van with Truman in sling:



In our next installment of our "Looking Back" series we'll tell you all about our first night as a forever family!