First Day Back

Today was my first day back to work and Truman's first day of daycare. Honestly, it did not go very well. We started of the day pretty positive with high expectations that Truman would do well - he's usually so mellow and go-with-the-flow that we just figured he would enjoy his day of playing with new people and toys. Here are some pics of us getting ready to go and arriving at the daycare:


So Shea and I went to the daycare and got Truman all situated. We then left the room to take care of a few paperwork items. Before we went to work, I walked back and peeked into the room to see how our boy was doing. It seemed like he was fine - he was being held by the main teacher in the room and was eating some food. Then I went to work and Shea went home to work on school things. It was kind of fun to go to work at first. I was able to see some work friends and show off pictures of Truman. At around 10:30 I decided to stop by the daycare to see how Truman was doing. Well, when I came in I could see that Truman was not very happy. He wasn't crying, but he just had a sad expression on his face. As soon as he saw me he started screaming - a scream that we very, very, very rarely hear. His teacher told me that Truman had a bit of a rough morning. She said he would play for a bit and seem fine, and then look up and realize Shea & I weren't there and start crying. Hearing that just broke my heart. I was able to stay with him for a bit, but soon had to return to work. As soon as I left the room, I could hear him start crying again. It was just awful. I felt so guilty going back to work, but obviously I didn't have a choice. I ended up coming back for another visit around 12:30 and he still wasn't doing well. It is seriously the worst feeling in the world to know that your actions are causing pain to your child :-( Shea ended up picking Truman up early at around 2:30. He said that when he got there Truman was quiet but a bit down. As soon as they got home, however, Truman perked right up and became the bubbly boy we know. Gosh - how do people do this?? Maybe Shea and I should start playing the lotto...

Anyway, I got home around 4:30 and couldn't wait to see my little boy. He was so sweet and smiley and it melted my heart to see him happy again. He was definitely worn out from his day. I ended up putting him in our Ergo Carrier (both he and I required the closeness!!) and he fell asleep in my arms - it was pure bliss. Here are some pics of a Mommy feeling so lucky and joyful:


He ended up taking a quick nap and then he woke up ready to play! We did some of our favorite activities - floor-time and reading - and it was soon time for bed. Then I rocked him to sleep and it was so hard to make myself put him in his crib. I was so close to just holding him all night long! I know this will get easier (right??) but this transition is going much harder than I had ever expected. Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day...